Personal Epic of your own morning routine. Literature & Language

Having finished reading several epics, it's time to do your own...but in a mocking style. Alexander Pope's "Rape of the Lock" is one of the funniest poems ever, in which he uses a mock-heroic style to refer to a friend who cut off a locket of hair without permission from the woman he was courting. Like Homer, Pope begins by invoking the Muse to guide him, references gods and goddesses, faeries, Helen of Troy, Achilles, and all kinds of mythical creatures, while using grandiose language to describe something that in no way requires such melodramatic terminology. However, the fact that he is able to write so extensively on such a minor infraction demonstrates his own mastery of the epic genre.
Pull up the "Rape of the Lock" online and read through at least the first Canto to get an idea of his style and the way he is satirizing throughout despite the majestic language he uses.
Attempt to mimic Pope's style by writing 24 lines on your own morning routine. The rhyming scheme is AB AB throughout. Do your best to include parallels with The Odyssey and/or The Aeneid (but don't simply duplicate his phrasing).
24 LINES